Hiya Buddy.

This week has been a bit of a funny one really. Started off not that great and Monday Tuesday and Wednesday were very lonely, dark days. For no particular reason my depression reared it's ugly head in a way it hasn't in a long time. I stayed in my pjs, I cried a lot, I just couldn't find any hope. It is so so difficult when for no reason whatsoever, you find yourself wanting to give up but that's how I was. It is suffocating and terrifying to find yourself in such a place. I don't think it is possible to make someone understand such emotions because if you have never felt that way or even if you are feeling positive when you are trying to understand it, it just doesn't seem right. I have been told so many times that people can't understand why I get depressed or what makes me feel so hopeless or anxious or anything like that. But that is partly the problem, there is no reason for depression: It is an illness. I am so grateful for everything I have in my life but there is just something in my brain that overpowers everything else and makes my thought processes go a bit haywire. But when I get as dark as I did this week, I forget even that and turn against myself and think it is all my fault and I shouldn't fell like this etc etc. Feeling like this obviously meant I didn't celebrate new year and I pushed away some of my wonderful pals and for that I'm sorry. I have mentioned this blog before, but I really feel it is something everyone should read; Hyperbole and a Half - Depression Part Two. I try and read this when I am feeling bleak because it reminds me that I'm not alone and I am not wrong in thinking certain things. Today I just want to highlight the part where Alice ponders how to tell "normal" people that she kinda wants to die. It is such a horrible thing to feel like giving up, but to a depressed person, thoughts like this are not as huge or scary as they are to a "normal" person. So how do you tell someone you might do something stupid or you are just feeling particularly full of self loathing? There is no easy way and more often than not, it remains unsaid. Where I'm going with this is that this week I was pretty much feeling like that but as I have never found a way of expressing that, I choose instead to push everyone away; basically, I am trying to apologise to all my lovely friends who text me or tried to get in touch with me and just got it thrown back in their face. In my own way, I was trying to protect you but I realise that it can just come across as me being a moody bitch. I'm sorry and I love you.
Phew, more words came out today than I expected!!
Thankfully, I am now feeling quite a bit more positive!! Mood swings can be so crazy! I applied for a part time job at Pets At Home earlier after being rather rudely dismissed by a writing opportunity I was really interested in, sometimes rejection is good for me because my stubborness makes me want to prove rejection wrong. (Sometimes it can just make me sad.) I would actually quite like to work at a pet shop as we all know I am a sucker for animals! So fingers crossed for that. I have so many reviews and things planned and coming up soon so I hope you enjoy them! For now, here is what my wonderful Roomie Kaye sent me as a belated Christmas gift...

I cannot wait to post about the book as it possibly one of the best inspirational things I have ever seen! And I'll probably do a minion outfit just for fun!:) That girl sure knows how to make me smile.

How are you guys doing? Did you all have lovely new years?

Becca.

Sanctus

Another quick book review for you. I got this book at least a year ago and I've read it a couple of times since, most recently though, I discovered it was actually the first of a trilogy so I re-read it so that I could have a go at the rest. Although it is treading rather familiar territory these days; historical sight, religious secret, quest for truth, murder and passion, you get the gist: it still holds it's own against the rest. Beginning very dramatically and sucking you straight in, you never really get chance to put the book down, you simply need to find out what happens. The secret everyone is fighting for is also something a little bit different than most other books at the moment, it really isn't anything you think it might be. Although the characters don't live up to the standards of people like Karen Rose, they are in no way bad.
If you enjoy quick paced adventure stirred in with some mystery and a lot of passion (by passion I mean people who go beyond merely believing in something, to a point of life or death, not the lovey dovey kind of passion), I would really recommend this one for you.
I shall keep you posted on my thoughts of The Key and The Tower as I read them!

Becca. 

Watch Your Back

Yes, I know this book only came out yesterday and it is about 550 pages long, but it's Karen Rose!! Yes, I talk about her a lot, but seriously, she is just amazing. I found out about a month ago that her latest book was due out on the 7th and was a follow up to her previous novel Did You Miss Me? I pretty much counted the days and I don't care how sad that is.
I will begin by saying she has not lost her magic touch. The drama, action and characters are as good as if not better than ever. Watch Your Back does feel slightly different from some of her other work though, mainly because the stage was kinda already set, as a reader, you are already well acquainted with the players; Stevie, Clay, Hyatt, JD, the whole Baltimore gang are present to tie up some lose ends form other books. I honestly have no idea how she weaves the web that she does, the number of characters, backgrounds, plots and subplots are incredible and effortless in their entanglement. What should be a mess of confusion and history and god knows what else is actually a flowing and gripping storyline. The nature of the crimes in Watch Your Back are a little different and less brutal as some of her other work as this one focuses more on past events however that definitely does not make it less action packed.
I won't say much else on this as I don't want to ruin it for anyone (namely mum who hasn't read it yet..)
All I can say is my love for Karen Rose (and all her characters) is as strong as ever and I am eagerly awaiting whatever she does next.
Oh, and READ IT!! :)

Becca.

The Devil Colony

If you read one of my first posts (here) about my favourite and recommended authors, you'll have seen I mentioned James Rollins there. I picked this latest one up at the library last week and had finished it in two days. I just couldn't put it down! Usually you reach a chapter where you think you'll have a break or something but you do not have any of those here! The story begins with Native American Legends and a cave of treasure and you are sucked into this world from the very start. The lines of past, present and future all become very blurred here and alongside the fast pace, Rollins really makes you pay attention if you don't want to get lost. Despite the pace, Rollins' characters do not disappoint, the usual suspects, Painter Crowe, Grey and Monk are all present amongst others and are all fighting a frightening and intriguing threat to the earth from many years before.
I don't want to ruin it because I cannot say enough that you should give this author a go even if it is not this particular book. If you like adventure, you'll like James Rollins.

Becca.