Moments.

I have so many drafts of half finished posts at the moment and a notebook I am filling with ideas. And yet here I am, starting another post... But I suppose that's what "lifestyle blogging" is all about. Today I am trying to pick up on the mindfulness practices I started earlier this year during CBT. The Little Book of Mindfulness is so perfect for throwing in your bag and reading on the go as well as pondering over and writing post it notes to leave yourself around the house. As anxiety lives in the future and depression in the past, the present is something I am rarely in and so I am vowing to myself and you reading this, that I will make a more conscious effort to be in the "now" as much as possible. So far, it's quite inspiring and has lead me back to my trusty 642 Things To Write About book.

Have you ever tried to practice mindfulness? What inspires you on a day to day basis? 

Becca. 

A Pilgrimage of Peace, Pizza and History

At the end of May, me and mum headed off on our holidays to Sorrento in Italy. It was a well needed break for the two of us and something we were both really looking forward to. The prospect of sunshine and calm waters were obviously a huge lure but as well as that, I was really happy to be able to escape with my favourite human; I am massively aware that I am by no means an easy person to live with: I can be angry, emotional, hyperactive and so many other things I am probably not even aware of. And of course, mum being the incredible person she is, feels guilty when she can't help and then I feel guilty because I hate that I'm hurting her by being such a mess. Don't get me wrong, we have a hoot but sometimes it's nice to escape reality for a while, right? When pondering holiday destinations, I threw Italy out there because we both love it, the culture, the food, the language, the history, basically everything it has to offer. Before we knew it we had booked flights to Naples and were counting the days. Sorrento is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen, built into and on the coastal cliffs, there are unimaginable views as far as the eye can see. We actually drove through the little village where pizza was invented!!

I won't go into too much detail because were there for 12 days so I could write far too much. The highlights were definitely wandering/getting lost in Pompeii; I have wanted to go here for so long as I remember studying it in school and being fascinated. Because Pompeii was covered with ash and not lava, everything was really well preserved, including some of the bodies (creepy). We also went to Herculanean which is way smaller but in much better condition. I do love history. The main highlight for both of us was an impulsive decision to go on a eco-friendly 4x4 that looked like something out of Jurassic Park, through Versuvius national park and then walking the last bit up to the crater of the volcano. It was definitely a once in a lifetime experience. The crater is currently blocked up from the last non-explosive erruption in 1944 although there are still some wisps of sulphurous steam wafting around. The views from the top were incredible and well worth the difficult ashy trek to the top. 

Other than the historical trips out, we spent most of our time soaking up the sun, swimming, and exploring the maze of backstreets that make up Sorrento and Positano: Oh, and eating copious amounts of Gelato and pizza. 

I decided before we went that I wanted to visit Naples for a day by myself and so one hot morning, off I went. The public transport over there is amazing, so so cheap and well organised and what not. So many of my peers are off having adventures around the globe and while I am nowhere financially or mentally prepared for something like that, I was looking forward to my own little adventure. In my typical impulsive and unorganised style, I set off out of the station with no map and no idea resulting in me getting lost in a huge fish market and falling over in front of all the locals. Smooth, I know. Following this, I bought a map and headed for the Museum of Archeology. It was such a rad museum, really airy and spacious yet full of incredible finds from Italy to Egypt. I could have stayed there for hours but after a while I left and wandered down Carbonara Avenue (yes that actually exists) and found myself a slushie and a cronut; doughnut crossed with a croissant; Amazing. My journey back was not so pleasant as a creepy man put his hand up my dress but I was thankfully rescued by a nice American couple. 

And I think that pretty much sums up our Italian Adventure!:) 

Have any of you been to Sorrento or Italy? 

Becca. 

To Write Love On Her Arms

TWLOHA is an organisation I discovered years ago that has continued to grow and spread hope around the world. A source for help, hope, inspiration and love for those battling depression and addiction. There is something about their message and the way they portray it that has always struck a chord with me; I cried the first time I read founder Jamie's story about Renee and I continue to be overwhelmed with emotion when their new posts go live. There is something so pure and genuine about their determination to help those struggling. I would strongly recommend visiting their site if you feel alone, if you are unsure how to help someone who is suffering, or if you just want to read some truly awesome words. A post that really struck a chord with me recently was again written by Jamie, titled People Need People. (Read it here.) It is just so true. Depression can be so evil and can cause you to feel so so alone it is like being surrounded by a crushing darkness and nothing else. A small bit of light can come from many different sources, music, films, books, but ultimately it is always coming from other people. I couldn't not buy this t-shirt with Jamie's words on it because every single thing on it rang true to me. I am lucky enough to have a life filled with people that will not give up on me, who continue to fill my life with love and purpose and although depression my sometimes cause me to forget this and feel like giving up, I haven't. And that is definitely all because of the other people around me. Sometimes I feel like my posts can get a bit repetitive, you all probably know by now the people who I am really grateful for (you, reading this included) but I really owe them my life. I may never really beat depression but it is other people who will also never let it beat me. I have so many memories of old songs and new songs, and sunsets and coffees (well, teas) and so many other simple, beautiful moments that I am hoping this t-shirt will remind me of when I am just too tired or too sad to fight any more.
All in all, I am just grateful to other people and the moments they create. I am grateful to people like Jamie who will never give up on fighting for lost souls like myself. I am grateful for every single person who has made me smile at any point. And I am grateful for every person who continues to read my words and support me in my life. It is so easy to feel alone and it is so difficult to fight that feeling, but it is most definitely worth it.

Also, watch Jamie's latest talk on Depression and Desire here

Becca.

Tick Tock..

I have recently become aware of a horrible little anxiety trait that has started to rule my life. I cannot complete even the smallest of tasks without putting a time limit on it or being aware of the time. Now, this is a normal thing for people getting up, going to work etc etc and when in relation to a routine, not really a bad thing. However, I have started timing drinking my tea, having a bath, everything.
"So if this takes me 15 minutes then I have 3 and a half hours until I have to do that so I can do this for an hour and then.." and so on and so on.
It is making more anxious than ever and really starting to exhaust me. I know I said earlier this week that I am trying to draw the positives from anxiety ie. being more aware. But being hyper-sensitive the entire time you are awake is beyond draining. I am having heart palpatations even writing this post because the bath is filling slowly and I don't know how long it will all take. Someone please help me!!

Oh, a positive bit of inspiration I have just found; these absolutely gorgeous photos, they give me butterflies and make me kinda want to cry they are that beautiful.

Becca.

Coriolanus

Last night, I was super excited to go and watch a live streaming of Coriolanus from the Donmar theatre in London. NTLive is a new idea of filming performances so people who cannot attend them can watch them live around the globe. I think it is suuuch a good idea as a lot of people, me included, cannot venture to London to see spectacular shows as often as they may like. Shockingly, all my English studies over the years have not exhausted my love of The Bard. Coriolanus is one of his lesser well known plays but still a great one. The main highlight of this performance though was definitely the fact that Tom Hiddleston was playing the protagonist: He was beautiful and amazing and dramtic and emotive and ohhh my, just fabulous. For those of you not as familiar with this play, it is set in Rome during a time of extreme political unrest. The people both desire and detest the thought of a leader emerging. Caius Martius Coriolanus eventually becomes said leader despite his distaste for the general public. This all bites him on the ass though when he is discovered and exiled leading him to actions that few audiences are predicting and culminating in a climax that leaves a hush throughout theatres (and now cinemas alike).
NTLive are also scheduled to screen War Horse, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightime and King Lear. I think I will give War Horse a miss as I reaaally want to see it on stage but I definitely want to see King Lear as it is a play I have studied in a lot of depth and it is directed by the incredible talent that is Sam Mendes. I can't wait.

What do you think of this new idea of opening up the theatre to a wider audience? Will you be going to any NTLive screenings?

Becca.

Oh, I also realised just how nerdy I really am when I got crazy excited to see that the guy who plays Dean Thomas in the Harry Potter films was also in this production...

Bruce Springsteen - High Hopes

Thought I would write a quick post on The Boss's new album as we all know I love him far too much. High Hopes is Bruce and The E Street Bands 18th album! How anyone can continue to produce such incredible original music is just awe inspiring! There are a couple of older tracks on there but ones that haven't been recorded in the studio before, only ever performed live; American Skin (41 Shots) and The Ghost of Tom Joad with Tom Morello of Rage Against The Machine. I was lucky enough to see that version live the other year at Hard Rock Calling and I am SO glad they have recorded it as it is just amaaazing. Totally different to the original acoustic version but equally as great. American Skin is another one of my favourite Bruce songs and this studio version is somehow just as powerful as the live recorded performances. On to the new tracks, my favourites are definitely High Hopes, Frankie Fell In Love and This Is Your Sword. There are so many different genres and tones throughout this album ranging from acoustic and almost bluegrass type stuff (This Is Your Sword), more reminiscent of his Seeger Sessions and then the quieter but equally as moving tracks like The Wall and Dream Baby dream that sound more like Nebraska and The Ghost Of Tom Joad Album. All I can say is in my opinion The Boss has definitely done it again. I have listened to this album SO much already. I cannot wait until they announce another tour!!

Are any of you Bruce fans? What do you think?

Becca.

Lady Of The Sea

I feel like I go on about inspiration rather a lot on this blog, but I just can't help it, I am always searching for the little something to perk up my day, make me smile, make me think, just to have any positive effect I suppose. Yesterday that came in the form of the wonderful Seth Lakeman: I posted about a recent performance of his not long ago and yesterday I was on Youtube when I came across his videos of a gig at one of my favourite places ever; The Minack Theatre in Cornwall. The Minack is an outdoor theatre built into the cliffs down at Porthcurno. We have been there so many times to so many performances, from The Three Muskateers to one of the oddest plays ever, The Itch. To be honest though, it doesn't really matter what you are seeing there, it is just a breathtaking place and the performances are sometimes forgotten when a local seal or dolphin decides to make an appearance as the sun sets, creating a backdrop like no other. I don't even know when Seth played there but I can only hope he will do again because I would love to be a part of the audience. Finding this yesterday just put me in better spirits, there was a little spring in my step as I set off in the cold winter sunshine to counselling of all places! I hope this video might give you a little bit of inspiration on this windyyy Thursday..:)

Seth Lakeman - Race To Be King

Becca.