Attempt.

Someone once asked me to try and explain what it felt like to be depressed, to be stuck in that black hole I find myself in more than I'd like. And although there is never even a small chance I could put it into a million words; I tried to answer. 

Have you ever had your heart broken? I mean, well and truly torn to pieces; to the point where you feel nauseous, starved for air, like your world is crumbling around you taking everything including you with it? You can feel yourself slipping away along with that person who made you believe you were far more than you ever thought possible and all you see and feel is crushing, soul destroying darkness. Well, that's how it feels today. Like I'm watching myself slip away into blackness. The only difference being that this isn't caused by someone leaving or some huge event in my life; I simply feel like my heart is breaking and it is all my fault. This leads to the all consuming rage that I wish I could take out on someone else and yet there is no one, it is all my fault. 

That is the form the black dog has taken today. It is by no means his only form, he is crafty and he has many. It is just that for today I am being lead to believe that my very being is disappearing and all that remains is pain and anger and sadness. 

Common sense tells me that this isn't how I should feel but common sense never wins these arguments, he becomes a whisper amongst the white noise of depression. 

I wonder what form it will take tomorrow? 

Becca.