Anti-depressants have cropped in conversation with a few people in the past few months and it's a debate that is always on going. I know some people see it as an easy way out or something that is unhealthy and not all that useful and that's fair enough if it's your view. I can comprehend that in some cases they may mask the bigger problems and if people aren't willing to tackle things then they may not be the best route forward. However, to me, I see them as the difference between being here and not being here; my therapist referred to them as a safety rope that is there to help me as I deal with things and continue on with my life. My mental state is not stable enough for me to go about my life unmedicated. Even with the tablets I take, I have mood swings and emotions that are frightening in their strength and toxicity and so without them, I would be in no state to deal with them, quite frankly, I would have lost the battle way before now. Going back to the secret above, recently I have been in one of my more pensive frames of mind, overthinking absolutely everything about myself and my life and in doing so, naturally I consider my mental health. As I have said, I am in no position to consider coming off my meds and going about life as usual because I'm incapable, however I occasionally feel like my tablets are numbing me more than I would like, taking away my ability to feel things as deeply as I would like. I have always been an emotional person, I can get so excited and passionate about the smallest, more random things and sometimes I feel like I've lost that. Basically, I feel exactly the same as whoever created this postcard. That in itself is slightly reassuring because one of the huge characteristics of depression is making you feel completely isolated and to know that someone else feels this way is like a bit of a glow in an otherwise dark place. Although it does stir up the mentioned debate of pros and cons of antidepressants. Sorry if this is coming across a bit garbled, it is a huge ongoing debate within my brain and all very dependent on my mood on a certain day and obviously depression itself can cause the numbness and inabilty to live and feel as you sometimes desire, it may not always be linked to medication.
Following on from my last post and mental health awareness, I'd love to hear from any of you, your views on living with mental health issues and taking medication. Let's keep the conversation going...
Becca.
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