Hello Commuters With Yer Computers!

This Alan P quote has been in my head all day. I think it's because I miserably realised that I am now a commuter, a grown up. Wah. I have survived two days of work! No panic attacks, I mean, anxiety, but no actual breakdowns so that has to be progress!? I am pretty much a glorified tea lady and with my lack of coordination and what not results in me smashing mugs and getting stuck in pot holes but hey, I need pennies.  Standing up/walking around for 8 hours a day is not doing my cankles any favours though. After snapping all the ligaments in it years ago, it healed really badly and I've struggled with it since. I've only done two days and this is what I look like...

I usually have scrawny boney ankles so this is not healthy and super painful. Hopefully I can manage a couple of weeks and hope the agency finds me something else.

I had to go back to the doctors today after struggling with really low moods and things again so my tablets have been upped yet again. They really want to get me more stable because until then, there doesn't seem to be much hope of me really tackling everything and trying to be "normal" again so hopefully I'll start to level out soon. I can't even put into words how frustrating it can be to not have any control over your own mind sometimes. To know you should be okay and yet to be sat wanting nothing more than to cease to exist is just horrible and I really hope I can start to get more control soon. 

I'm off to soak in the bath and elevate my feet. Bangin!

Becca.