Handwritten

I feel like I'm finally starting to feel the effects of my new tablets and I can't decide if they are gonna be good or bad for me. I certainly feel more stable but not in the best way. I feel constantly a bit dopey and mis without actually being sad, just flat and meh. I feel 'meh' really sums up how I am at the moment. I haven't been as giddy or excitable as I sometimes can be. Granted, I haven't been as catastrophically down but I don't feel normal or happy so I suppose I can only wait and see how these pan out for me.
I have spoken to the mental health people up here and I am now on a waiting list for counselling and self help sessions, this is both terrifying and slightly positive at the same time. I know that I need to go through more talking with professionals but I also know how exhausting and scary it is so it evokes numerous different emotions in me, just going to try and not think about it until I hear from them again as it could be 3-4 weeks.
Still no luck with the job hunt but I'm not losing hope as fast as I thought I might so I'm still powering through lists and applications and what not as much as I can.
I am also beginning to get super impatient because I just want it to be next weekend, I'm celebrating my birthday a bit early so that everyone is around and so that I will be able to devote more time to my mumma's birthday and not mine. This means that next Friday, I get my boy back and my beautiful Billing and we get to have fun times!!:) I can't wait!!